5 posts tagged “sketch”
I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow, to be honest. I'm certain it won't be as bad as I think it is. But I wish my vacation had been longer. I'm up because it's frankly depressing. And because frustration, sadly, seems to be what allows me to rub two artistic brain cells together to make something.
I am still following my fish.
Delirium from Sandman is everyone's favorite. And the longer I stay in this dead-end job the more I feel like her.
So I was supposed to be sketching my next couple of projects but this thing insisted on being drawn too. It's an idea I've been turning around in my brain for a while. Tolkien's description of the ring of Barahir really does sound like a puzzle ring (in part because there's no good way to fit in all those details along a single plane. I've said before, jewelry design was really not Tolkien's forte...). I post this with the stipulation that Fox is NOT allowed to commission these from Norm, because they'd cost an arm and a leg to fabricate if they're even feasible.
I don't actually have a reason for sketching a pug puppy. Who needs an excuse anyhow? It's good to practice the facial folds and figure out what's essential for pug-ness, although I'm only ever going to draw the adult version of the pug character in Three.
Just so you know, I haven't completely fallen off that horse. My warm-up sketches are getting better, I think. Either that or I'm having a good day.
Creativity is as fundamental to human nature as breathing. We all make art on some level--anything from whistling a tune to pass the time or writing a song to doodling in the sand to sculpting out of clay, etc. Some of us are content to only take our art as far as it amuses us in a moment; some may share it with friends and family; still others seek to share their art with the world and make a living off of it. Me, I fall somewhere in the middle category with aspirations towards the latter. I am 'trying' to be an artist. A 'real' one (that sort of terminology reveals a lot about my opinion of my skill level, I'm sure).
Some folks know about how I've delayed drawing Three because I've been waiting for my artistic skills to catch up to where I want them to be so I don't do a disservice to the story I tell. I've been talking with a number of people lately who have been encouraging me to stop waiting now, just start and go. I blanch at the thought, but I think they're right, it's time to stop waiting.
I've been waiting for some kind of epiphany, some aha! moment that will let me know when I've got what I need to really, truly get started. Years of writing endings for short stories at three in the morning the night before a deadline still haven't taught me that the only way to do is to wade in up to your ears and then ask the question "how the hell am I going to get out of this?". No, I practice, practice, practice hoping that maybe someday I'll get good enough to try for real.
What is it that holds us back, us fence-sitters? We're afraid--but of what? The price of getting what you want is getting what you once wanted--and I think what is scariest about reaching for what you want so badly is thinking too hard about the vast unknown that lies beyond if ever you say to yourself that you have arrived. As much as we fear rejection and failure, I think a lot of us fear some aspect of our idea of success just as much. When some want has defined you for so long, and you finally fill it, where do you go from there?
But then, maybe those of us who fear that maxim are confusing the want to possess with the want to become. Wanting to possess something is a simple pursuit. You chase after something, you catch it, and you hold it in your hand. That's it. This applies to more than just objects or material wealth. Fame, influence, praise, and other things that go along with success can be pursued like objects. Wanting to become is not such a simple chase; it's one that has no ending. We are dynamic beings, we change, our goals change, and new insights will change everything along the way. Wherever you see yourself when you picture what success as an artist would look like, when you get there you won't even know it, because you will reach that point and run right past it. There is no halt to the pursuit of becoming in the span of a lifetime, and so it will always be more than enough to chase after if you are devoted to the craft. And so there is no 'try' versus 'be' here, no room for hesitation; if you have said that you are going to be the best damn artist you can be then you better call yourself an artist, and you pack your metaphorical bags and go.
I don't think in all this time that I've ever directly called myself an artist, and I always flinched at using a 'we' when referring to artists because I felt like a charlatan to include myself. So here, for possibly the first time ever, without qualifications or quibbles, I'm going to put it down in writing.
I am an artist.
